Towards Developing 21st Century Leadership
"This generation is terrible!” - “They are so lost.” - “Our future is doomed!” - “Why won’t someone do something?” - “When I was growing up, we never did that.”
“I can’t believe these kids today.”
If you, as a thoughtful, change-desiring, contributing adult member of society, have either thought or said one of the above statements, I hate to break it you, but you are part of the problem. That's the bad news. And here's the good news — you can do something about it right now.
When we talk about reimagining Baltimore, where I live, or anywhere else we see issues, it has to be placed in the context of what Baltimore (and other cities around the country) will look like in the next decade to decade and a half for young people, without intervention. This includes contemplating infrastructure, education, career choices, mentorship, family structure and business structure. And guess what? I put the sole responsibility of figuring this out on the shoulders of the same adults who might not think this is a battle worth waging and the same adults who helped, albeit some inadvertently, to engineer our current predicament.
“I hear you, Sadiq, but what does this have to do with me?”
I'm glad you asked.
While attending a youth development conference this past summer, I was fortunate to meet and converse with program directors, non-profit executives and principals from all around the country about the environment and some of the challenges surrounding youth development and programming in their respective home states. I heard about challenges in working with Native American youth from practitioners in North and South Dakota; challenges with working with rural white youth in Arkansas; I heard stories from practitioners in Hawaii about what it’s like working with families suffering from poverty in paradise and more familiar sounding stories about the state of suffering of young Black children in some of the worst inner cities in America. But one story in particular stood out.
A principal from the Richmond, VA area told me the story of how he caught one of his male students leaving school early one day in an apparent rush. And when the principal asked what was up, thinking it might have been a family member injured or sick, the 16 year old student replied that his girl was at the hospital about to give birth to their child. At 16 years old. Becoming a father.
As the principal sees the young man off, he tells him to slow down and that he has his whole life in front him, at which point the young man tells the principal, “don’t worry about it, this is my third one so I’m getting the hang of it.” Third child at 16. Let that sink in.
We are doing some work, but we need to do more. Much more.
The last part of the story is that when the principal caught back up with this young man some days later to continue the conversation and ask about his plans to support these children, the young man told the principal that he was learning the art of fatherhood and manhood from his own father who had 15 children of his own. Are you guys following me? This is one story, from one city in a country of 300 million + people. Imagine how many more exactly like this there are.
As my conversations with these practitioners started to sound familiar and similar, a few consistent themes continued to present themselves, not least of which being that schools and after school programs alone WILL NOT get the job done.
We need every single person from every single walk of life to engage in the lives of young people everywhere. Because the question you should be asking yourself right now is - where was that young man’s parent’s parents? These behaviors are learned and observed over generations. So what are we teaching?
It’s also not enough to just complain. It’s also not enough to blame — there’s enough of that floating around already. What we need is engagement at all levels; especially where I like to call the four legs of the stool - Schools, Faith-based organizations, Families and extended families, and the Community at-large, including business owners (large and small), residents, universities, non-profits and any other organization that operates in an area of distress.
If you fall into one of these categories, engage.
We, as the adults, own this present - our children didn’t raise themselves and if they did, then that means we’ve all been complicit in their destruction and by extension, the destruction of our collective futures.
Engage now. Or pay the price later.
TO DO:
Speak to young person, positively, today.
Greet a young person with a smile, today.
Look for teachable and learnable moments with a young person, today.
Do not fear young people. These are our sons and daughters.
Give loving (not judgmental) advice to a parent you know is struggling.
Volunteer at your local school (even if you don't have children there).
MENTOR a young person.
Donate to a youth centered organization.
Host a youth program in your community.
Attend a PTA meeting at the school in your community, even if you don’t have children there.
We are all in this together. If we are serious when we say that children are our futures, we better act like it and move with urgency. There is no reimagining Baltimore or any other city without imagining a better today for our children.
"When adults run out of answers they start blaming children.” As a staunch and empathetic youth advocate, Sadiq is a natural-born teacher whose work revolves around making sure we never blame children. He has created a number of programs for schools, youth detention centers, non-profit and community organizations to engage young men of color and their parents. He’s also a TV/Radio host and commentator, social entrepreneur, best-selling author of 5 books, national award-winning keynote speaker, trainer, professor and consultant.
Sadiq has worked with thousands of young people, their parents and youth practitioners around the country on connecting better with their students and passions, creating innovative solutions and having more fun along the way.
Follow along @TheSadiqAliShow or @MillionaireManners!
